Bogged with thoughts

I don't know what to say. I don't know how to say. Every moment passed seems like eternity, yet i am still stuck here without a single word coming out from me. Dilemmas struck upon me. I do not know what i should do - now and later. I am worried that whatever i do would trigger off several unwanted events. It seems like i am lost; for words and for directions.

Every single day and night, I'd be pulled down with so much mind-boggling imaginations as they set off free and wild... which mostly comes with negative impacts. This predicament i am going through right now, no one would understand nor empathize. It is up to me, and only myself to set upon this unwanted journey. And to end it for good.

Walking down an empty street... hoping to see a familiar face.

A try is always a gamble. "No pain, no gain," as they said. But i am in pain, yet still no gain. My luck sucks when it comes to gambling. Lady Luck will only shine at me once in a blue moon; as often as it snows in Africa or even in Malaysia. I ponder on the consequences. "Should i... Should i not?" i asked myself.

Hoping for someone, or something to clear the clouds in my mind.

It has been haunting me for the past few weeks. I am trying hard, yet not hard enough to overcome this stupid issue. Would it be worth it, i may not know. "What if...??" is also poking fun at me; jeering and taunting me to make a move. It feels like i am being surrounded by a horde of bullies; kicking and daring me to do something, or else.

What should i do?? Hmmm...