Realization
Despite being stuck in a "sticky" situation, i know i will survive the battle and onslaughts. I just need some kicking around (yeah, yeah... excuses, excuses). Luckily i have the support of my family and friends, getting me through thick and thin; in which i'm very much appreciating it. Without these people, my life will never linger in the darkness i've led myself into.
I know at times i would fuck things up and wouldn't know how to settle the problem. Predicaments could be barriers in life, which would make you a stronger and better person; but without the right people for the "job" in assisting me, i wouldn't have ended up where i am right now. I've been blessed with these special people, i couldn't ask for more in life.
I love her, despite what has happened. So near yet so far. I don't know why, but somehow i couldn't seem to get the words out without knowing the fact that rejection is inevitable. I hate this feeling, but it's there and i got no choice but to embrace it with positivity. What's meant to be, will meant to be. What's not, will not, eventually. But whatever i haven't tried, i wouldn't know the outcome of it. As a friend used to tell me, take two steps ahead and one back. Refocus, strategize and decide the best move for the best moment. I shall do that. For my own sake and for the fact that i will not let those who'd supported me down in frustration and disappointment.
Someone once told me this story to explain the fact that i'm not "stuck with an issue", which actually made me realize: no one is stuck; they just don't know how to move and improve from where they are.
A baby elephant has been living in captivity all its life. It is tied to a rope, which is held on by a wooden stake. No matter how much it pulled and tugged, the baby elephant couldn't release itself; up to the extend that it knows it couldn't get away no matter how hard it tried. Years later, the baby elephant grew up into a huge bull elephant, however, still tied to a wooden stake. Due to the fact that it has been held on by the tiny rope and wooden stake to the ground, the elephant doesn't know its enormous strength by now and all this while had the notion that it couldn't free itself since it was just a calf.
I can totally relate to this fiction. But now, i realize my own strengths and would really want to improve myself on what i can do, as well as what i couldn't. I shall not let puny problems hold me down. And with the support of people around me who cared, i know i'd definitely make it one day. With that, of course, i will never forget them, ever.
Right now, before i can go "conquer the world", i shall conquer my moods and remaining assignments for the time being.
After that, i shall go conquer something which i've always had negative hopes for; even if i'll be facing negative or positive response. Questions will always have to be answered.
But without proper focus, i'm not planning to win, but to self-destruction.
I know at times i would fuck things up and wouldn't know how to settle the problem. Predicaments could be barriers in life, which would make you a stronger and better person; but without the right people for the "job" in assisting me, i wouldn't have ended up where i am right now. I've been blessed with these special people, i couldn't ask for more in life.
I love her, despite what has happened. So near yet so far. I don't know why, but somehow i couldn't seem to get the words out without knowing the fact that rejection is inevitable. I hate this feeling, but it's there and i got no choice but to embrace it with positivity. What's meant to be, will meant to be. What's not, will not, eventually. But whatever i haven't tried, i wouldn't know the outcome of it. As a friend used to tell me, take two steps ahead and one back. Refocus, strategize and decide the best move for the best moment. I shall do that. For my own sake and for the fact that i will not let those who'd supported me down in frustration and disappointment.
Someone once told me this story to explain the fact that i'm not "stuck with an issue", which actually made me realize: no one is stuck; they just don't know how to move and improve from where they are.
A baby elephant has been living in captivity all its life. It is tied to a rope, which is held on by a wooden stake. No matter how much it pulled and tugged, the baby elephant couldn't release itself; up to the extend that it knows it couldn't get away no matter how hard it tried. Years later, the baby elephant grew up into a huge bull elephant, however, still tied to a wooden stake. Due to the fact that it has been held on by the tiny rope and wooden stake to the ground, the elephant doesn't know its enormous strength by now and all this while had the notion that it couldn't free itself since it was just a calf.
I can totally relate to this fiction. But now, i realize my own strengths and would really want to improve myself on what i can do, as well as what i couldn't. I shall not let puny problems hold me down. And with the support of people around me who cared, i know i'd definitely make it one day. With that, of course, i will never forget them, ever.
Right now, before i can go "conquer the world", i shall conquer my moods and remaining assignments for the time being.
After that, i shall go conquer something which i've always had negative hopes for; even if i'll be facing negative or positive response. Questions will always have to be answered.
But without proper focus, i'm not planning to win, but to self-destruction.
leon just rambled at
3:18 AM
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