Suffocation

Time flies. It's been 7 years since i left highschool and last week's reunion was great (well, i planned it, of course it was great!).

"How's internship?" People would ask me. I'd just smile and tell them, "Oh, it's been fine."

Deep down, no one can understand what i'm going through right now. For the very first time, i'm starting to crumble down to pressure. No, not peer pressure, but to work pressure. The working environment's fun and exciting, but where i'm at is a problem. My colleagues are nice (well, some) but my bosses are just... erm... let's just put it this way. Losing may not be a choice to them. They're awesome workers, but the way i'm being worked, it ain't really tallying to my "liking". I'm so different when it comes to events management. I know i can do better, but here, i'm strained with my hands tied up.

After being involved in numerous event jobs, i'm now here having my hands-on training with accounts management. No, i don't handle numbers (oh well, sometimes). And i find it really, really tough, especially when heavy responsibilities are thrown given to me.

Every night i'd wish i'm back home having dinner, talking and laughing with my family, and every morning i'd wish Malaysia had a total blackout. Right after degree, i'm flung into the world of working, and i ain't even in the field i wanted in the first place. It's because i had that stupid inkling of trying out how is it like and right now, after a month's stint, here i am wishing i was somewhere sipping pina colada and enjoying the gentle sea breeze.

I am so tempted to give up and go do something else instead. I'd go back to what i do best - writing and handling events. I work best when i have to run around, and of course - less paper work. Argh, the thought of paper work, prints, checklists an etc is driving me nuts! And the worse feeling is to face my emotionless, hasty, "kancheong-spider" and i-want-it-on-the-dot bosses (despite the fact that with those "personalities" they succeed).

Call me weak, i don't care. Call me a pussy for giving up so easily, i don't fucking care. I'm a pure Sagi and i love freedom and i work best on what i love best. Not this.

This internship is overall wearing me thin. It's sucking out all the energy and enthusiasm i used to have during work and now i'm all left with an empty shell with a very weak soul; dangling on a thin line, awaiting for the best moment to set myself free.

Sigh. Where's my pillar of strength when i need it??

:(

DOUBLE-U TEE EFF!!! ASS DOUBLE-U TEEE!!!

Van's being lame and bored in office again.

-____-lll

Here goes.

Dear, Audrey:

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'll join the monastery. I think i realized it When i changed tennis shoes Under the bus and I saw you Carve your initials into Bill Clinton. I'm sure you're Frostbitten enough to understand That Extreme Home Makeover sucks. I'm returning Your memories from the military service to you, but I'll keep Your left ear as a memory. You should also know that I Always have felt dirty before To ruin the second world war.

Go burn.

- Leon -


Here's how you do this meme.

Do the "Letter MEME". Tag no less than 5 other people, and leave them a comment, informing them that they have been tagged. Then copy the "How-to" Letter Meme, and finish your Journal entry.

Dear ________(the last person who left a comment on your blog/journal):

I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___ .


___12___,

-Your name-


Fill in the blanks with choices of answers as below:-

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scared
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - How awful I've felt
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Hate your guts
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain


Okayyy... i've did mine. Van is just too free in the office. Ish... that's what you get when you stop by her table! Arghhh...

Now, to victimize the others. MUAHAHAHA!!

I tag:

1. Indra Irwan
2. Audrey Loh
3. Kristy Tan
4. Prada
5. Prakash
6. Sawwaaaa!!
7. Sabrina


VANESSA GANNNNN!!! SWT!!!!

-_____-lll

Another year passed

Oh well... another year has passed. I'm another year older. Sigh. But on the bright side, i'm getting nearer to my life's plans. Shall be near my grasp pretty soon if i work harder. LoL.

The downside about this is that i'm actually gonna spend my birthday in the office; i really wanna go spend time with my family, then go shop for clothes and some stuffs and also do the things i wanna. But oh well, life's like that. It's just another day which would whisk off without anyone noticing either.

Last night was quite nice. Prada and the (well, half of them) gang got me a small brownie with a candle on it. Then we messed around with my newly bought The Oracle Book. Had fun, though. Thanks guys! Later on, the sms-es and phone calls came flooding in. Thanks everyone!

Anyway, Happy Birthday to myself. :P

Cheers.

Getting older

Well, one more year has passed. So much has happened. I can't believe i'm turning 24 tmrw. And here i am, stuck in the office on my birthday.

How i wish i can at least enjoy my day tmrw. Perhaps go out for a drink, or sleep in late. Oh well... work's work. Birthdays are just another day as usual; i did not really celebrate my birthday properly for the past two years anyway. Maybe i'd just go treat myself to a quiet beer after work. That sounds like a plan. LoL.

9 more hours to turn 24.

Getting older ain't fun. The older we get, the more priorities and responsibilities pile up on you.

Sigh.

First blood

Blaaaardy hell... kena conned by this stupid message on Facebook saying there'd be free tickets given out for the Hed Kandi event at Euphoria. Jacky Foong's the name. That blaaardy ass. The instructions given to us are already clearly stated in this Facebook message, in which i've already followed since last Saturday although the "offer" starts on Monday. First you're required to change your FB status to "is getting kandi at HED KANDI live @ EUPHORIA by Ministry of Sound - November 29 2008", and then message that fuker our names and contact number. Gahhh... curse all these scams. I bet that fuker contacted chicks whom he fancies and in the process suck up to them. This shall be the last time i'm gonna fall for something like this. One day, i promised myself, ONE EFFING DAY, i shall not need all this crap to get into events. I shall let people personally call me to go to their effing events. Luckily birthday gal, Sarah told me the event wasn't as good as the hype.

Oh well...

After unofficially finishing my degree, and after three whole weeks of partying (well, of course getting sick for the half a week til now), i shall be starting new (again) as an intern at the prestigious (or is it?) Leo Burnett. I can't and shall not reveal details of what i shall be doing, however. All thanks to beloved Van who somehow paved the way for me. *sniff... cough* Darn, my flu's acting up again. Hmm... shall treat her to dinner soon.

Last night i just finished work with Nancy and Co. for a malay wedding dinner. We were up and about from 9am til 11pm; job scope ranging from getting the walkies working, walking about making sure everything's in place, packing the goody-bags and placing 10 bags at each tables (120 of them!!) and finally coordinating the whole event. I called up Sean to come work with me as well. Pei San was as adorable as ever, Nancy and Evelyn as usual, and that dog barking as loudly as ever. Those who've worked for Nancy would know. But all's good - the pay and experience. I was even caught at the middle of the line of fire between a particular band (which wanted to play three songs instead of the two Nancy ordered) and the boss, Nancy, herself. Now i know how those people feel when they have to negotiate and talk things out with unscrupulous performers. These people are just plain irrational and annoying. My eardrums were already demanding for a vacation after being shouted at by Nancy. But overall, the work experience was as fun as ever. It's effing cool to work with people like Nancy and Evelyn.

I'm still sick. Flu and fever's subsiding, however my cough's getting worse. I couldn't imagine myself coughing my head off while working tmrw. And speaking about it, i'm actually quite excited to work for such a big company. I've been so used to working in event companies, and now i'd be sitting at a desk doing much paper work and making phone calls. A totally different scenario. I hope i'd be asked to go outdoors than to be stuck in an air-conned room. Hmmmm... I hope i could continue working for LB. Wouldn't even dream to go elsewhere. Imagine the experience, contacts and knowledge i'd be having with this company. Wooo hooo!!

One more year has passed. So much has happened. I'm now almost reaching a new point where my life's heading to a whole new chapter. I hope things work out well.

Need sleep now. I've been feeling weak all week long anyway. I need my rest.

So long to late nights. So long to out clubbing on Wednesdays and Thursdays. So long to late night yamcha and supper sessions. So long to teenager life (which has already long long gone, like three years ago??).

-____-lll